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GRE作文中那些丢分的零碎问题
一、逻辑问题:
大体上来说,同学们的逻辑问题是最多的。逻辑问题有三种,通篇逻辑,段落之间,段落之中。
其实这可能和我们高中初中的英语教育有关系,大家都很喜欢一条一条摆原因。Firstly, secondly...然后后面至于这个ly后面是什么就不管了,一顿胡扯。也不管这段落与段落之间的衔接是否自然,反正都有什么ly给打头阵。
事实上,中西方的思维总是存在差异,很多时候看管老师们都不懂考生在说什么。考官很困惑,这个例子和这个有关系吗?为什么前面在说A,后面突然B了?
二、整体观念:
和结论什么关系?要记住一点,GRE作文文章是一个整体,你的开篇结尾和中部内容都是应该有关联的。也就是说,在开头提到的,文中应该有展开,同时在结尾有总结。中文里不也要求行文流畅么,这至少得要求逻辑是通顺的。
三、能力要求:
很多同学都很喜欢写中立观点“A不错,但不够好”,这虽然看起来很客观,但实际上这种GRE作文对逻辑的要求非常高,要怎样去组织语言,组织相应的论据论点,非常考验人。
有同学想说A事件要瑕疵互见,但是写着写着就乱七八糟,东一块西一块,不知道在讲点什么了。更有厉害的索性冗长的2000来词,讲了个空话。所以建议刚上手的同学,还是选择一边倒,站定脚跟不放松。即便是真的要写中立观点,实际上也都在A和B之间有所偏好。
四、内容空洞:
此外,现在很多人会要求练writing的时候先写提纲。于是同学们们就只写一个观点,然后后面的例子乱用,或者根本没有弄清楚什么是例子。事实上,这种展开,可以是实例,也可以是虚拟的假设。实例中往往分自己的经验和他人的经验。那么怎样的例子有说服力呢?
一般来说是:名人名事(知名度大)> 众人众事(样本大)>自己经历(体会深)>他人经历。假设往往不够有说服力,因为很难涉及到每一个变量。但是假设在有的时候可以行得通,就是在很难说清楚步骤和因果关系的时候,用一个假设场景来推导会让文章变得浅显易懂。
所以建议,在刚开始上手写GRE作文的时候,先不要给自己30分钟的压力,先列出提纲(10分钟),再用30分钟去写,看能写多少。
五、GRE写作选材准确:
记住你的举例一定要死死扣住你的GRE作文观点,不要是和观点打擦边球的。
例子一定要从论点出发,再回到论点。不要将你的论点发散,后果很可能就是越写越跑题。所以每次写好一篇文章,都看看,论据里的key words是不是和论点里的key words一样,论点里的key words又是不是和题目里的key words一样。你的key words 可以比大题里的key words更加narrow,但是千万不要更加广泛。
GRE考试写作借鉴:新高分作文点评
"Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, they in fact, prevent people from developingsintostruly strong and independent individuals."
Do modern luxuries serve to undermine our true strength and independence as individuals? The speaker believes so, and I tend to agree. Consider the automobile, for example. Most people consider the automobile a necessity rather than a luxury; yet it is for this very reason that the automobile so aptly supports the speaker’s point. To the extent that we depend on cars as crutches, they prevent us from becoming truly independent and strong in character as individuals.
可借鉴之处:开头启用了一个非常醒目的问句,这是最能吸引批卷者视线也是高分作文的表现!
Consider first the effect of the automobile on our independence as individuals. In some respects the automobile serves to enhance such independence. For example, cars make it possible for people in isolated and depressed areas without public transportation to become more independent by pursuing gainful employment outside their communities. And teenagers discover that owning a car, or even borrowing one on occasion, affords them a needed sense of independence from their parents.
此段主要是为下一段的驳论作铺垫。
精华:Consider first…
in some respects…=in some cases, to some extent
注意afford的用法
However, cars have diminished our independence in a number of more significant respects.
We’ve grown dependent on our cars for commuting to work. We rely on them like crutches for short trips to the corner store, and for carting our children to and from school. Moreover, the car has become a means not only to our assorted physical destinations but also to the attainment of our socioeconomic goals, insofar as the automobile has become a symbol of status. In fact, in my observation many, if not most, working professionals willingly undermine their financial security for the sake of being seen driving this year’s new SUV or luxury sedan. In short, we’ve become slaves to the automobile.
精华:diminish our independence in a number of more significant respects
注意not only…but also的用法
没有什么惊天地泣鬼神的事例,但却能用平常生活中的点滴起到说理的作用,此法值得借鉴。
Consider next the overall impact of the automobile on our strength as individuals, by which I mean strength of character, or mettle. I would be hard-pressed to list one way in which the automobile enhances one’s strength of character. Driving a powerful SUV might afford a person a feeling and appearance of strength, or machismo(男人气魄). But this feeling has nothing to do with a person’s true character. In contrast, there is a certain strength of character that comes with eschewing modern conveniences such as cars, and with the knowledge that one is contributing to a cleaner and quieter environment, a safer neighborhood, and arguably a more genteel society. Also, alternative modes of transportation such as bicycling and walking are forms of exercise which require and promote the virtue of self-discipline. Finally, in my observation people who have forsaken the automobile spend more time at home,swheresthey are more inclined to prepare and even grow their own food, and to spend more time with their families. The former enhances one’s independence; the latter enhances the integrity of one’s values and the strength of one’s family.
精华:contribute to Consider next…Also,…Finally,…in my observation…
GRE考试高分作文点评解析
"Although many people think that the luxuries and conveniences of contemporary life are entirely harmless, they in fact, prevent people from developingsintostruly strong and independent individuals."
Do modern luxuries serve to undermine our true strength and independence as individuals? The speaker believes so, and I tend to agree. Consider the automobile, for example. Most people consider the automobile a necessity rather than a luxury; yet it is for this very reason that the automobile so aptly supports the speaker’s point. To the extent that we depend on cars as crutches, they prevent us from becoming truly independent and strong in character as individuals.
可借鉴之处:开头启用了一个非常醒目的问句,这是最能吸引批卷者视线也是高分作文的表现!
Consider first the effect of the automobile on our independence as individuals. In some respects the automobile serves to enhance such independence. For example, cars make it possible for people in isolated and depressed areas without public transportation to become more independent by pursuing gainful employment outside their communities. And teenagers discover that owning a car, or even borrowing one on occasion, affords them a needed sense of independence from their parents.
此段主要是为下一段的驳论作铺垫。
精华:Consider first…
in some respects…=in some cases, to some extent
注意afford的用法
However, cars have diminished our independence in a number of more significant respects.
We’ve grown dependent on our cars for commuting to work. We rely on them like crutches for short trips to the corner store, and for carting our children to and from school. Moreover, the car has become a means not only to our assorted physical destinations but also to the attainment of our socioeconomic goals, insofar as the automobile has become a symbol of status. In fact, in my observation many, if not most, working professionals willingly undermine their financial security for the sake of being seen driving this year’s new SUV or luxury sedan. In short, we’ve become slaves to the automobile.
精华:diminish our independence in a number of more significant respects
注意not only…but also的用法
没有什么惊天地泣鬼神的事例,但却能用平常生活中的点滴起到说理的作用,此法值得借鉴。
Consider next the overall impact of the automobile on our strength as individuals, by which I mean strength of character, or mettle. I would be hard-pressed to list one way in which the automobile enhances one’s strength of character. Driving a powerful SUV might afford a person a feeling and appearance of strength, or machismo(男人气魄). But this feeling has nothing to do with a person’s true character. In contrast, there is a certain strength of character that comes with eschewing modern conveniences such as cars, and with the knowledge that one is contributing to a cleaner and quieter environment, a safer neighborhood, and arguably a more genteel society. Also, alternative modes of transportation such as bicycling and walking are forms of exercise which require and promote the virtue of self-discipline. Finally, in my observation people who have forsaken the automobile spend more time at home,swheresthey are more inclined to prepare and even grow their own food, and to spend more time with their families. The former enhances one’s independence; the latter enhances the integrity of one’s values and the strength of one’s family.精华:contribute to Consider next…Also,…Finally,…in my observation…
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