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托福独立写作审题2大误区

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为什么常常有同学托福独立写作跑题或者偏题?其实归根结底都是因为不会审题导致的。下面小编就和大家分享 想写好作文要先学会审题,希望能够帮助到大家,来欣赏一下吧。

想写好作文要先学会审题 托福独立写作审题2大误区

托福独立写作审题误区一 没注意关键词

同学们考写作考了这么多年,大多数出题的形式都已烂熟于心,看到题目之后觉得熟悉于是兴冲冲提笔就写,其实,这种看似“熟练”的表象下藏着巨大的隐患——同学们很有可能因为看得太快而忽略某个决定题目意思的关键词。例如:

例1:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Advertising is the only main cause for people’s unhealthy eating habits.

看到这个题目,同学们立刻会开始想,有没有other reasons for unhealthy habits,想出三条

如:1. People’s tight schedules do not allow them to eat at regular hours;

2. Sometimes people are eager to lose weight or to keep fit so that they go on “endless diets”;

3. Bearing heavy burden both physically and mentally, some consider eating constantly as their most effective stress reliever.

综上所述,advertising is not the only cause.

这个写法看起来非常完备,但其实犯了一个不起眼却严重的错误——题目不是要我们证明it is not the only cause,而是要我们去证明it is not the only main cause。多一个“main”,意思是很不一样的。如果我们只需要证明it is not the only cause,那么找出other causes即可即例1中的写法。但是,如果我们要证明it is not the only main cause,就需要证明other causes that we mentioned are also main causes,这就需要在每一段中加上一些专门的说明。或者,更简单的办法是去证明advertising is not even a cause, 直接在每段的末尾加上advertising与该段所论述的unhealthy eating habit无关的论述即可。If it is not a cause, how can it be the only main cause? 这样一来,就不用通过证明还有其他main cause来反驳了,事实上,证明某种cause是main cause还是挺有难度的,因此笔者推荐同学们用后一种方式进行论述。因此,文章还是disagree,而三段的主题句分别应该是:

1.People’s tight schedules do not allowthem to eat at regular hours, and it is obvious that they are too busy to be influenced by advertising;

2. Sometimes people are eager to lose weight or to keep fit so that they go on “endless diets”, and this is more like a result of human nature, the pursuit of beauty, but not advertising;

3. Bearing heavy burden both physically and mentally, some consider eating constantly as their most effective stress reliever, and it is quite clear that no advertisingencourages them to do so.

例2:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Colleges and universities should offer more preparation for student before they start working.

看到这个题目,很多同学会可能会这样写:Agree. 1. Students should take more specialized courses (专业课)in order to be knowledgeable and skillful enough for their future careers(接着开始论述being knowledgeable and skillful的重要性); 2. Participating in internships helps students to have a clearer picture of their vocational development in the future(接着开始论述如果没有实过习,在工作的时候是多么地feel so unprepared); 3. Attending more club activities is an effective way to improve social skills, which are crucial for success both in life and at work(接着开始论述good social skills对职业和生活的帮助).

如果不看括号里的内容,仅看主题句,这篇文章是没有任何问题的。然而,括号中的论述从严格意义上来讲,是不能支持“more”这个关键词的。举个简单的例子:“我们需要钱”和“我们需要更多钱”在证明的时候重点是不一样的。如果证明“我们需要钱”,应该详细阐述钱的“不可或缺性”,比如生活、学习、教育都需要钱;但是如果证明“我们需要更多钱”,重点则应该放在“钱不够”的论述上,证明在学习、生活、教育方面的预算都很紧张。同样地,上面的题目中仅仅证明Knowledge for careers, field experience and social skills are important是不够的,事实上,这些根本不需要证明,需要证明的事情是graduates today are not well prepared in the three aspects. 因此这篇文章应该是一篇“抱怨型”的文章,详细地去论述学校工作的不足。参考思路如下:Agree. 1. Many students today complain that they cannot learn practical skills and up-to-date information, for some of their teachers are not qualified enough to teach specialized courses; 2. Since many students are not allowed enough time to participate in internship programs before graduation, they know very little about what their future jobs like; 3. Joining clubs is possible for every college student, yet not every club provide is capable of offering enough opportunities for students to practice their social skills.

同学们在写文章的时候一定要注意,学术论文写作不是句型和辞藻的堆砌,整篇文章一定是一个well-organized system,这个system中很重要的原则之二就是——1、每个中间段的topic sentence是用来支持main idea的;2、topic sentence后面的每句话都是用来支持该topic sentence的。在上面的两个例子中,大家会发现例1的错误主要是main idea没有很好地被topic sentence支持;而例2的错误在于topic sentence虽然看起来是支持main idea的,但是论述的内容可能跟关键词“more”无关,从而不能有力地支持topic sentences。这些错误的起因,则是对题干中关键词的忽略。

托福独立写作审题误区一 关键词理解不准确

与忽略关键词的人不同,有些同学过于执着于关键词的字面意思,而没能看出其背后的implication,从而被关键词限制住思路,无法下笔。比起忽略关键词,这种错误更常发生在细心且实力不错的同学身上,也很值得大家注意。笔者建议,在写文章的时候要灵活,不要拘泥于关键词的字面意思,否则理由很不好想,就算想出来也很难用英文表达。例如:

例3:

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The government should spend more money on elementary school education than on university education.

题目的意思是说,比起投资大学教育,政府应该在小学教育上投入更多的资金。看到这个题,同学们会有不同的看法,大体来讲无非是两种——认为university education应该花更多的钱或反之。但是,大家很快会发现证明任何一种观点都是不容易的。比如说,有些同学可能会这样写:Agree. 1. Elementary school education involves more students than university education and it requires more money; 2. Colleges and universities have more sponsors than elementary schools so that the government should offer more financial support for the latter.3. Since elementary school education is the cornerstone of university education, it deserves more money from the government.

上面的主题句看起来是没有问题的,然而在展开的时候困难重重——个点里说Pupils的数量多所以花钱多,这的确是事实,可是pupil人均所需要的经费却肯定比university students少,最关键的是,我们并没有数据作为支撑;第二点里说校友或社会人士的支持使得大学在财政方便面比小学要宽裕的多,然而,这还是一个没有数据就无法证明的观点;第三点里说elementary school education是university education的基础所以前者就应当比后者得到更多的预算,这是一个典型的逻辑错误,因此在段落展开的时候将会十分困难。A是B的基础并不意味着要为A花更多的钱。总之,钱本身就是一个可以量化的东西,如果真的以钱的多少来写这道题,在没有数据支持的情况下是很难成文的。许多同学之所以在写的时候觉得自己的文章很牵强,就是因为把该文当成了论述题,而大家要知道,论述题都是要会给出数据让我们来分析的。那么,在没有数据的情况下,这种题目该怎么写呢?找到money后面的implication很重要。其实,题目并不是要我们去讨论哪种教育应该花更多的钱,而是让我们去对比两种教育的重要性,自然地,更加重要的教育就应该花更多的钱。所以我们可以有以下论述:

(Main idea) I cannot agree that the government should spend more money on elementary school education than on university education, because they are equally important.

(Topic sentence) 1. Elementary school education prepares children for college education by teaching them how to learn and what they are supposed to learn.

总而言之,托福独立写作审清题目的关键在于把握好题目中的关键词,不论是理解错误还是忽略关键词都有可能会导致作文写跑题。建议大家在开始写托福独立写作之前先读题目,找到关键词,确定透彻理解以后再开始列大纲准备写作。

托福写作:精准用词

第一种方法是用一个单词代替一组意义相同的单词,比如:

①用forget(忘记)代替do not remember(没有记住)

②用ignore(忽视)代替do not pay attention to(不注意)

③用now(现在)代替at this point in time(此时此刻)

④用because(由于)代替due to the fact that(鉴于下列事实)

第二种方法是省略同义词或近义词,比如在下面例句中,形容词important(重要的)和significant(有重要意义的),就是两个同义词(也可以说是近义词),我们可以省略important,只保留significant。

①The government project is important and significant.(这项政府计划是重要的,有重要意义。)

②The government project is significant.(这项政府计划有重要意义。)

第三种方法是在不改变句子含义的前提下,省略所有可以省略的单词,比如在下面例句中,the cover of the book (书的封面)可以省略成the book cover,is red in color(是红色的)可以省略成is red。

①The cover of the book is red in color.(书的封面是红色的)

②The book cover is red.(书的封面是红色的)

最后我们把这三种方法结合起来,将一个冗长、绕嘴的句子,改写成一个简短、易懂的句子。

①University malls must be accessible and free from congestion in order that students, faculty and employees may have unobstructed passage through those areas of the campus.(校内道路必须是便于通行的,不拥堵的,以便让学生、教师和职员能够无阻碍地通过,到达校园的各处。)

②University malls must be free enough from congestion to allow people to walk through easily.(校内道路不应当拥堵,以便人们顺利通行。)

托福写作:如何避免啰嗦

所谓“言简朴实原则”,就是行文不啰嗦,句子应越短越好,如果一个字能说清楚的,就不要用两个字。

例如:At this point in time,we should pull together for our goal. 现在我们应该为我们的目标团结一致。

这句话中“At this point in time”表示“现在”,我们完全可以用now来代替。

In the majority of cases,he likes to ride bike to the office. 他通常喜欢骑单车到办公室。

很简单的一句话,完全可以写成 He usually likes to ride bike to the office。

平时我们所说的用词多样化和地道并不是体现在这些时间副词或者是完全可以简化的啰嗦句型上,而是指实用性极强的词如动词和形容词,比如:

Original:Solving trivial problems in the dorm will add your social experience and help you to understand other people's feelings and learn to be kind。

Revised: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will enrich your social experience and help you to understand other people's feelings and learn to be considerate。

add,kind表达的含义都比较宽泛。 add可以指数量上的增加,也可以指程度的加强,对于“丰富经验、增加知识”这个意思,用enrich会使表达更准确。

kind从字面意义上讲是“好的、善良的”,用kind来形容人无法具体地表现出一个人的性格特征到底怎样,原句中是想表达“考虑周到、体贴入微”的特点,要准确表达这个含义应选择considerate。

另外,我们常见的一些累赘用词表现在句意的理解上。

比如:He has had many years of (actual) experience in business。他有多年经商的经验。

actual是多余的,因为experience已经有actual的意味了。

We assembled(together) all the parts for our radio. 我们装好收音机的零件。

assemble本身就有together的意思,因此together是多余的。“平等相处原则”的意思是行文不出现明显的带歧视或偏见的字眼,包括男女性别,也要避免区别,以示“平等”。

例如:

Many businessmen(businesswomen) feel their jobs are very stressful. 许多商人觉得工作压力很大。

这句话写 businessmen或是businesswomen都是不妥当的,可以改为 business people或 business executives或business managers就可以包括男女了。

当然,一些带有种族偏见的字眼,甚至有侮辱的味道(insulting words 或 slur),也要尽量避免使用,以免闹出麻烦。例如:

对黑人不要用 Negro,更不能用Nigger(用 Black 还可以),礼貌的说法 是Afro-American 或African-American;对白人不要用Honky(这是黑人骂白人的用字),正确用法是 Caucasian,或 white people;对犹太人不要用 Hymies,应该叫Jewish 或 Jewishpeople;对越南人不要用 Gook,要用 Vietnamese;至于墨西哥人、西班牙人及中、南美洲人,包括 Puerto Rico,正确的用法多是Hispanics 或 Latins,不过据说西班牙人为了维护自己的文化,倒喜欢别人称为 Spaniard。



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