托福写作高分满分范文点评和思路解析：怎样才算好同事

考生需要在写作备考中就开始多接触各类作文话题了解写法思路，多读一些高分范文提前进行铺垫。今天小编给大家带来了托福写作高分满分范文点评和思路解析 ,希望能够帮助到大家，下面小编就和大家分享，来欣赏一下吧。

托福写作高分满分范文点评和思路解析：怎样才算好同事?

托福写作难点话题一览

What makes a good co-worker?

We all work or will work in our jobs with many different kinds of people. In your opinion, what are some important characteristics of a co-worker (someone you work closely with)? Use reasons and specific examples to explain why these characteristics are important.

写作思路展开结构分析

这道题目可能有些还在初高中阶段的同学会觉得不知道怎么写，毕竟缺少工作经验是事实。大家不妨把同事的概念转换为一起小组学习完成某些课题的同学，这样会比较容易找到切入的点。像这道题目，写有团队合作精神teamwork spirit应该是比较容易展开的，大家可以参考一下。

本话题高分范文赏析

Healthy co-workers relations are crucial for the success of business. Since average workers spend at least 8 hours a day with their co-workers, their relationships with their co-workers are among the most important relationships in their lives. The best kinds of co-workers will possess team spirit, be hard working, and have a sense of humor.

Co-workers with team spirit will put the needs of the company and their co-workers before their own needs.

For instance, an employee with team spirit might put in uncompensated overtime to help a co-worker finish a project before a big deadline. If the worker who needs help does not meet the deadline, the whole company might lose an important client. If co-workers help each other, even though the rewards might not be immediately apparent, each individual will gain more than if they worked separately.

A good co-worker needs to be hard working. This is the responsibility of every worker in any company. Just as the failure of employees to cooperate will hurt each member of a company, failure of each worker to perform to the best of his/her ability will hurt the company. It will not only lower that particular worker's productivity, it will also damage the co-workers' morale. If I see a co-worker of mine slacking off, I might begin to think to myself, "Why should I work hard? I can slack off like my co-worker and still make the same amount of money!" Hard work is not only important for productivity; it is also a crucial prerequisite of team spirit. Finally, good co-workers need to have a sense of humor. Working at any company can be very stressful. Even though it is necessary for everyone to work hard, that does not mean that work cannot be fun. Since co-workers spend so much time together, being able to joke and laugh each other is also important. If an employee is perceived by his/her co-workers as a humorless workaholic, then they might not want to go along with him/her. His/her lack of humor hurts team spirit, and not only irritates the people around him/her, but also damages the whole company.

托福写作：常识积累

本文分为三个部分：其中Independent Writing Task 9个问题，Integrated Writing Task 6个问题，以及牵涉全局写作的3个问题。

Independent Task

Q: Independent Writing Task有没有题库?

A: 没有，但是可以借鉴TWE的题库。

"You will see topics very similar to these [TWE Topics] on the TOEFL iBT." [OG, P267]

Q: 准备Independent Writing Task需不需要专业知识?

A: "None of the topics requires specialized knowledge. Most topics are general and are based on the common experience of people in general and students in particular." [OG, P267]

Q: 写作的时候，观点重不重要?

A: "It does not matter whether you agree or disagree with the topic; the raters are trained to accept all varieties of opinions." [OG, P267]

"I think test takers had better simply pick one side rather than straddle the fence." [Susan Hines, Dec. 2006]

"Creativity is not necessary." [Susan Hines, Dec. 2006]

Q: 是否可以通过增加深刻的逻辑和复杂的例子来掩盖或者弥补语言能力的不足?

A: 不可以。

"If your language is hard to follow, your sentences are overly simple, and your vocabulary is limited, you may score no higher than 3 no matter how impressive your ideas may be." [OG, P260]

而且从例子的选择上讲，并不要求使用庞大、复杂的例子，尽管这些例子可能论证力更强。个人经历就是一种很好写的例子。阅卷人并不依据论据的复杂性来看文章。

"Personal experiences are common." [Susan Hines, Dec. 2006]

Q: 可不可以使用前人的模板(templates)来写作?

A: 那要看你怎么定义"模板"这个词。如果"模板"指的是段落结构和文章结构，那没有任何问题，比如"五段式结构"可能会一直是TOEFL文章最好的写法。但如果"模板"是指背下来的，可以不加思考就可以套到任何题目上的段落内容，那就千万不要这样做。

Do not "memorize" long introductory and concluding paragraphs just to add words to your essay. Raters will not look favorably on wordy introductory and concluding paragraphs such as the following:

"The importance of the issue raised by the posed statement, namely creating a new holiday for people, cannot be underestimated as it concerns the very fabric of society. As it stands, the issue of creating a new holiday raises profound implications for the future. However, although the subject matter in general cannot be dismissed lightheartedly, the perspective of the issue as presented by the statement raises certain qualms regarding practical application."

"In conclusion, although I have accept that it is imperative that something be done about creating a new holiday for people and find the underlying thrust of the implied proposal utterly convincing, I cannot help but feel wary of taking such irrevocable steps and personally feel that a more measured approach would be more rewarding."

Likewise, raters will not look favorably on paragraphs like the following, which uses a lot of words but fail to develop any real ideas:

"At the heart of any discussion regarding an issue pertaining to creating a new holiday, it has to borne in mind that a delicate line has to be trod when dealing with such matters. The human resources involved in such matters cannot be guaranteed regardless of all the good intentions that may be lavished. While it is true that creating a new holiday might be a viable and laudable remedy, it is transparently clear that applied wrongly such a course of action could be calamitous and compound the problem rather than provide a solution." [OG, P259]

"I think you could use it as long as it is on topic." [Susan Hines, Dec. 2006]

Q: 阅卷人最主要看重文章的哪些方面?

A: Your ability

to respond directly to the question;

to take a clear position; and

to write an essay characterized by (1) good organization, (2) proper use of supporting examples, (3) sentence variety, and (4) correct sentence structures.

[Workshop Manual, P26]

Q: 5分和4分最大的区别在哪里?

A: "Those that receive a score of 4 also have clear, well-written essays, but there are more flaws and the ideas are less developed." [Teacher's Manual]

Q: 词汇和句式是不是越复杂越好?

A: 词汇和句式需要一定的复杂性。

"Raters will also judge your essay based on the complexity of sentence structures and on the quality and complexity of your vocabulary. If you use very simple sentences and very basic vocabulary, you will probably not be able to express very complex ideas." [OG, P260]

但是，不是越复杂越好。

就词汇而言，关键是表达的准确性。请参看OG第287页的满分范文1，评语中有这样一句话：The writer does not use high-level vocabulary, but word choice is correct throughout.同时请参看Workbook第57页的范文，同样没有big words，也是满分。

就句式而言，关键是表意准确、流畅且能够变化。但为了达到变化或者准确表达复杂意思的目标，出现一些复杂的句式是很正常的。但一味追求复杂是没有意义的。

Q: 文字是不是越正式(formal)越好?

A: 不是。Independent Writing Task并不偏好formal expressions.只要能把意思表达清楚，并把问题回答好了，就行了。参见OG第288页满分范文2，评语中这样写道：the writer consistently demonstrates command of language and English idioms, especially by using various informal expressions ("Let's assume," "we would all agree," "can make or beak," "come in very handy").

Integrated Task

Q: 阅读文章和听力文章中共有几种可能的关系?

A: There are three kinds of connections between the reading passage and the listening passage.

a. The listening passage that challenges the points made in the reading.

b. The listening passage that presents the reasons/ways the problem described in the reading passage is solvable or really not a problem at all.

c. The listening passage that supports the points made in the reading.

[OG, P252] [Workshop Manual, P41]

目前考的都是Contrast题目(只有一次考到了Solution，但也和Contrast差不多)，预计在不久的将来也不会有太大变化。根据ETS高级专员(Assessment Specialist II)Susan Hines [Dec, 2006]的说法，目前题库中还没有出过关于support的题目("Comparison is not available now.")，所以建议大家主要针对contrast题目进行训练，偶尔也可以用朗文的光盘训练一下solution的写法。

Q: 阅读文章和听力文章之间一般会有几点相关联?

A: "Typically the main idea will be developed with three points." [OG, P252]

Q: 文章中可不可以出现自己对所谈问题的看法?

A: "Remember that you are NOT being asked for your opinion. You ARE being asked to explain how the points in the listening relate to points in the reading." [OG, P253]

Q: 写作的时候可不可以照搬阅读和听力中的原话?

A: 总的来讲，照搬原文是不可以的。关键词可以不变，但是整体内容必须被paraphrase出来，特别是阅读材料里面的内容。

"In English-speaking countries, you must follow the rules for citing when you use the same words of the original speaker or author. If you do not do this, it is considered a form of intellectual stealing, called plagiarism. While this may be accepted in some cultures, it is not acceptable in most English-speaking academic settings. Therefore, paraphrasing skills are important to learn." [TOEFL iBT Tips, P29]

"Restatement and paraphrasing is, of course, needed." [Susan Hines, Dec., 2006]

Q: 5分和4分的区别在哪里?

A: "A response that scores at level 4 has many of the characteristics of a 5, but it does not reflect the content of the listening passage as accurately." [Workshop Manual, P45]

Q: 高分(5分、4分)和3分的区别在哪里?

A: "The response may omit one major key point made in the lecture." [Workbook, P7]

"Response generally cannot receive a score higher than 3 if they do not address all three points and usually need to address two of the points of contrast." [Workbook, P11]

"Responses that earn a score of 3 respond to the prompt, but they are vaguer than either 4 or 5 responses. Some details might be incorrect or altogether missing and inaccuracies increase. This combination may cause the reader to be slightly confused." [Workshop Manual, P46]

All Writing Tasks

Q: 高分(5分和4分)和低分(1~3分)在评分程序上有什么区别?

A: 总的来讲，高分(4和5分)的文章要符合评分标准上的所有要求才能评为高分，但是低分文章(1到3分)只要符合评分标准的某一条就可以评为低分。

"In general, responses should be scored at the highest levels (4 or 5) if all the score descriptors fit the response. In contrast, a response should be scored at one of the lower levels (3, 2, or 1) if some or any of the score descriptors noticeably fit the response." [OG, P267]

Q: 拼写错误和语言问题要不要紧?

A: 关于这一点，我们要一分为二来看。一方面，我们没必要吹毛求疵;阅卷人知道这是first draft并且是under timed condition，只要看得懂，不构成理解障碍，就没太大问题(minor flaw)。另一方面，语法和拼写还是重要的，一旦这些小错误导致阅卷人觉得难以理解，就会构成重大问题(major flaw)。

把"dependence"写成"dependency"没太大问题;偶尔把"becomes independent"写成了"becomes independency"是个可以看到的错误，但还是问题不大;偶尔写出"They prefer to be depended on their parents."这样的奇怪句子也会得到阅卷人的宽恕。

"Occasional language errors will not count against you as long as they do not cause you to misrepresent the meaning of points from the reading and the lecture." [OG, P253]

"If your essay includes a few minor lexical and grammar errors, you can still get a high score. However, if you make a lot of grammar errors and if those errors make it hard to understand your meaning, you will get a lower score." [OG, P260]

Q: 字数是不是很重要?

A: 首先，字数没有上限。

其次，目前字数会比以前更有意义，因为考试有计数器专门动态显示字数，为的是让考生对自己的字数做到心里有数。而且两篇文章都有了推荐字数。所以，我的建议是超过这个建议字数，虽然不用超过太多。(Integrated Task超过150，Independent Task超过300)

最后，关键是内容，而不是数量。不要为了求字数而导致文章很啰嗦。

"Suggested length is between 150 to 225 words. You will not be penalized if you write more, so long as what you write answers the question." [OG, P253]

"An effective response is typically about 300 words long. If you write fewer than 300 words, you may still receive a top score, but experience has shown that shorter responses typically do not demonstrate the development of ideas needed to earn a score of 5. There is no maximun word limit. You may write as much as you wish in the time alloted." [OG, P258]

"The length is not considered."