托福独立写作中使用经典五段写法的考生很多,但这种写法有一个问题,那就是如果中间三个段落的分论点之间逻辑关系不够鲜明,或是考生想不出三个分论点,那么这种写法就会难以实现。下面小编就和大家分享托福独立写作让步式写法运用实例分析,来欣赏一下吧。
托福独立写作让步式写法运用实例分析
托福独立写作思路分析
在写一边倒的文章的时候,多数考生喜欢采用经典的五段式写法,即开头段、结尾段、中间三段三个分论点论证。这样的写法当然无可厚非,然而多数学生会碰到两个问题,一是我只能想到两个理由,第三个理由写不出来怎么办?二是我三个理由都写完了,但是字数不够300字怎么办?这样的情况,就需要我们的救命稻草"让步段"出场了。
什么是让步段写法?
让步段,顾名思义,就是退了一步的段落。例如,For further career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school? 选择了同意的立场,写完了三个同意的理由之后,可以再写一点让步段论述一下反方的观点,即在学校学习好也很重要。写让步段的好处有很多,一是上文提及的最实际的用途---凑字数,二是从行文逻辑看,写一段让步段也可以展现考生思维的严密性。只要时间允许,此种一举多得的做法为何不尝试呢?
托福独立写作让步段写法讲解
但是,让步段写作也需要遵循一定的原则。考生在写作时,应当按照三部曲进行:1)写出一个反方观点 2)进行一定程度的削弱 3)重申自己的观点。
1. 写出反方观点
这一步大多数同学都做得不错,但是在提出反方观点之前,可再加上一些连接词,例如admittedly, nevertheless等等。还拿之前拿到题目做例子,For further career success, is relate well to other people more important than studying hard at school? 总观点是同意,让步段写学习好也挺重要的。第一步引出反方观点时,应写:Admittedly, acquiring an excellent GPA is one significant proof of your ability, for "study" is one of the major tasks that students are supposed to fulfill in school.
2. 进行一定程度的削弱
这是大多数同学会忽略的一步。很多同学在写让步段的时候,喜欢跳过第二步,直接重申自己的观点,然而这样的写法会显得逻辑上牵强,行文也显得生硬。因此,在提出反方观点时要进行一定的削弱。例如在写完上文那句话之后,应加上:However, the outstanding scores only prove the intelligence of the student, while the EQ, largely reflected by how well you relate with others, plays an utmost significant role in the future career success.
3. 重申自己的观点
这一步非常重要,因为让步段的提出仅仅是小插曲,重要的还是自己的观点。切不可写了让步段,就忘了自己的立场,那样就是得不偿失了。因此,在写完上面两句话之后,需要再加上一句,therefore, I still hold the opinion that relate well with others is more important than acquiring high scores in school.
在让步段的写作当中,尤其需要注意两点:1是第二步的削弱过程,这样可使文章看起来不那么唐突,更为流畅。2是另外还需注意字数的控制,让步段切不可写得超过之前的论述段的长度,否则就有观点不明确的嫌疑了
托福写作:找论据的具体技巧
托福写作论据通常来自两个角度:个人和社会。
个人角度通常会涉及到个人的身体和心理的健康,个人的动机,梦想,兴趣爱好,职业和学业,家庭背景,个人生活方式以及个人的能力。
社会角度一般包括政府税收,教育,民族文化,经济,能源环境以及社会秩序。
1. Government should be responsible for the tuition fee of university students. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
题目的意思是政府该不该支付大学生的学费,针对这个题目,无论是同意还是不同意,我们都按个人和社会两个角度来看一下。
同意
个人:For those students who are with great intelligence but from poor families, government surely should be responsible for their tuition fee and provide them opportunities to go to school and then release pressure for their families. 因为此题讨论的是大学生的学费,正如前面所提到的,个人的构思角度包括"个人家庭经济背景"。
社会:As we all know, economy is a master key to a country's development and it is undeniable that students who finish their education are the main force pushing forward social and economic development, for which government should encourage education for the benefits of the whole society. 既然从社会角度出发,就要试着往这方面靠拢,首先想想学生接受教育对社会的益处是什么?上文提到,社会角度包括"经济",所以政府支持教育必然对推进社会经济发展有好处。
不同意
个人:Paying tuition fee for university students can make them access to education easier, therefore, some students may lose motivation without financial pressure and will not cherish the studying opportunities. As a consequence, it is hard to guarantee the quality of university education. 个人的角度包括"学习动机",政府给大学生支付学费可能会让他们丧失学习动机,从而影响教学质量。
社会:Due to the limited financial budget, government is likely to suffer a great pressure if spending too much money on education; as a result, our government will not have extra energy to develop in other fields, such as science and technology, as well as the medical advances, which are also with great significance to society.
我们之前也提到,社会的构思角度除了"教育"之外还有其他方面,例如"经济"或者"文化"或者"环境保护"。所以一旦政府在教育上花费过多,其他领域的发展就会受到限制。
2. Machines can do a lot of work for human being, it can bring many benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
同意
个人:More work can be done in a relatively shorter time, which can greatly increase the working efficiency and improve quality of life by reducing the working tense; the benefits of this trend also can ensure safety of employees as some work with great danger can rely on machines
个人角度包括个人的身体健康(人身安全)和生活方式。所以这里的论据 "减轻劳动强度"和 "增强安全程度"正是来源于此。而且Reduce the working tense之后就意味着生活将会更轻松即"改善生活方式"。
社会:The economic development speeds up due to the improvement of productivity by using machines, which never feel tired and are not dependent external factors, such as emotion and weather.
社会包括"经济",所以机器代替人类能够提高社会生产力,从而促进"社会经济"发展。
不同意
个人:Relying on machines too much may lead to lack of exercise and then cause human's healthy problems. 个人角度包含"个人的健康"问题。因此我们可以想到如果过多的依赖机器,人们就会缺乏运动从而导致健康水平下降。
社会:Some handicraft skills cannot be passed on and the traditional culture may die out since the skilled workers have been replaced by machines. Moreover, it is usually more resource consuming and causes environmental problems by using machines in the mass production.因为社会包括"传统文化",进一步我们可以想到机器工作多了必然导致人们的手工技能或者称之为传统文化将会在社会中消亡。同时,社会包括"环境问题"。机器虽然可以提高效率,但是会消耗能源或者排放一些污染环境的物质,因为会涉及到环保问题,同样属于社会的构思角度。
托福写作:恒温动物
Sample Response
The professor actually contradicts the statements made in the passage. She is of the view that dinosaurs are not endotherms i.e. they were not able to keep their body temperature at a constant rate.
The professor contradicts the issue of dinosaurs being endothers based on the availability of fossils being available in thwe polar regions, she say that the polar regions in those days were not as cold as they are today i.e at least warm enough for dinosaurs to live. Durin harsh winters she says that there is a possibility of the dinosaurs actually migrating to warmer regions.
The issue of leg position and movement being used as a reason to clasify the dinosaurs as endotherms does not please the professor either. She says that dinosaurs had legs under their bodies to support their huge bodies i.e the legs under the body of the dinosaur were actually to support the huge weight of the dinosaur and not to provide it with a body structure like endotherms(which is actually suited for running).
The professor acknowledges the presence of haversian canals but also points out that that the fossils show the presence of growth rings. These rings occur due to the thickening of the bone. The thickening indicates that the dinosaurs were’nt actually growing continuously but were experiencing periods of rapid growth and periods of no growth in succesion. This pattern. she says is characteristic of non endothermic aanimals.
Thus it can be inferred that the professor challenges the passage by giving reasons as to why she thinks that the dinosaur is not an endotherm.
Description of Response:
Despite initial appearances, this response largely succeeds in clearly and accurately presenting how the lecture points take issue with the points in the reading passage that dinosaurs were endotherms. The first point regarding dinosaurs in polar regions could be a bit clearer. Otherwise, the response mainly suffers from typographical errors, but these are not regarded as major problems; it is obvious that the writer has good control of structure and vocabulary and the ability to use these to convey in an organized and logical manner what has been understood and asked.
托福独立写作让步式写法运用实例分析
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