GRE写作如何恰当运用长难句

很多GRE中国考生非常喜欢写长难句，在他们眼里，把一句简单的话说复杂了这才叫有水平，其实这是错误的想法，下面小编就和大家分享GRE写作如何恰当运用长难句，来欣赏一下吧。

GRE写作如何恰当运用长难句

GRE写作请勿滥用长难句

举例：Recent years， this problem has appeared in the cities of China， the tendency of which is more and more serious.

上面的这句话在中国考生看来，是既亲切又熟悉吧。但是这种啰嗦的运用从句是非常不可取的，这句话完全可以用一个句子说明白：This is a recent and growing problem in cities in China.

考生要注意，在GRE写作考试中，考试目的是为了考察考生是否具有和他人进行学术交流的语言能力。如果你不能这样和别人交流沟通，那么，即便是你的句子写的再长，也不会拿高分。

GRE写作如何做到高效表达?

究竟要如何做到convey meaning effectively呢?其实很简单，就是用最简洁的语言把意思表达清楚。但是，这绝对不是完全不用长难句的意思，究竟什么时候该使用长句呢?当我们用简单的话不能把意思表达清楚，反复地使用短句反而是啰嗦的，这样不以利于交流。此时，我们就要使用从句，来把分成几个句子表达的意思用一个句子说清楚，从而达到简洁的要求。

所以，考生不要认为写长越难的句子会为作文加分，因为这不是重点，如果想要提高自己的GRE作文成绩，要清楚的表达自己的作文主旨，这样才能让评卷人看懂也不觉得厌烦。

GRE写作满分范文

Hospital statistics regarding people who go to the emergency room after roller-skating accidents indicate the need for more protective equipment.  Within this group of people, 75 percent of those who had accidents in streets or parking lots were not wearing any protective clothing (helmets, knee pads, etc.) or any light-reflecting material (clip-on lights, glow-in-the-dark wrist pads, etc.).  Clearly, these statistics indicate that by investing in high-quality protective gear and reflective equipment, roller skaters will greatly reduce their risk of being severely injured in an accident.  

Although the argument stated above discusses the importance of safety equipment as significant part of avoiding injury, the statistics quoted are vague and inconclusive.  Simply because 75 percent of the people involved in roller-skating accidents are not wearing the stated equipment does not automatically implicate the lack of equipment as the cause of injury.  The term "accidents" may imply a great variety of injuries.  The types of injuries one could incur by not wearing the types of equipment stated above are minor head injuries; skin abrasions or possibly bone fracture of a select few areas such as knees, elbows, hands, etc. (which are in fact most vulnerable to this sport); and/or injuries due to practising the sport during low light times of the day.  During any physically demanding activity or sport people are subjected to a wide variety of injuries which cannot be avoided with protective clothing or light-reflective materials.  These injuries include inner trauma (e.g., heart-attack); exhaustion; strained muscles, ligaments, or tendons; etc.  Perhaps the numbers and percentages of people injured during roller-skating, even without protective equipment, would decrease greatly if people participating in the sport had proper training, good physical health, warm-up properly before beginning (stretching), as well as take other measures to prevent possible injury, such as common-sense, by refraining from performing the activity after proper lighting has ceased and knowing your personal limitations as an individual and athlete.  The statistics used in the above reasoning are lacking in proper direction considering their assertions and therefore must be further examined and modified so that proper conclusions can be reached.  

Commentary  

This adequate response targets the argument's vague and inconclusive "statistics."  The essay identifies and critiques the illogical reasoning that results from the misguided use of the argument's statistics:  

-- that non-use of equipment may be "automatically" assumed to be the    cause of injury 

-- that "accidents" may refer to minor injuries 

-- that injuries may result from other causes -- skating in the dark,    failure to train or warm-up properly, failure to recognize one's    physical limitations  

The writer competently grasps the weaknesses of the argument.  The ideas are clear and connected, but the response lacks transitional phrases.  Development, too, is only adequate.  

Control of language is better than adequate.  The writer achieves both control and clarity and ably conforms to the conventions of written English.  Overall, though, this 4 response lacks the more thorough development that would warrant a score of 5.

GRE写作满分范文

"The best ideas arise from a passionate interest in commonplace things." 

The thought of a passion   

In reading such a passage as the one given to me as an assignment I can't help but think of an analogy that entered my mind.  It is my enduring interest in the field of multimedia.  I say this because of the ideas in which I cultivate as an artist of many media materials such as paints, film, computer animated software, etc.  Being an expressionist I take in my surroundings and personal experiences from commonplaces and things and tell a story from my perspective using the various tools whether it be computer aided or hand drawn.  My ideas come from people or things because it tells a story.  The story can be abstract, little, big, or even strange.  To record stories like these may spark ideas that may come to me in a domino effect.  It's beautiful] I shared this with you to conclude that sometimes even common things such as a pencil and an empty page can spelllout your fate and unlimited possibilities when you have a passion or an interest that drives your hunger for innovation.    

COMMENTARY 

This essay is seriously flawed in its analysis of the issue.  The writer attempts to address the topic by focusing on his or her interest in "multimedia" art.  Yet, while isolated words and phrases from the topic appear throughout the essay, the essay never clearly states a position on the issue.  For example, in a discussion of multimedia art, the writer makes the following observation: "Being an expressionist I take in my surroundings and personal experiences from commonplaces and things and tell a story from my perspective using the various tools whether it be computer aided or hand drawn."  The essay circles around the issue, without ever really engaging it. 

The essay is also marked by serious flaws in language use: inaccurate word choice ("and tell a story from my perspective using the various tools whether it be computer aided or hand drawn."), unclear pronoun reference ("My ideas come from people or things because it tells a story"), and, in general, a debilitating lack of clarity and precision.  These errors frequently interfere with meaning, a characteristic of many essays scored 2. 

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